Better Promises.

The 4-part structure of a promise

Who does what, for whom, by when. Anything missing turns a promise into a wish.

Five honest replies

These are your only honest options. Anything outside them — "maybe," "I'll try," "should be fine" — is not a reply.

• YESI can complete that. Conditions are clear, time is blocked, capacity is real.
• NOI can't. Better than a soft yes that breaks later.
• YES, IF…I can — if [condition] is met. Surfaces dependencies before they bite.
• NEED INFOI'll commit once I have [X] by [when]. The ask itself is a promise.
• COUNTEROFFERI can't do that — but I can do this. Keeps the work moving.

Five elements of a reliable promise

Run this check in your head before you commit. If any answer is no, your reply isn't yes — it's "yes, if."

• Conditions of satisfaction are clear — we both know what "done" looks like.
• I'm competent — I have the skill and the resources.
• I've blocked the time on my calendar. Estimated and scheduled.
• I'm sincere — I actually intend to do it.
• I'll own the recovery if I miss.

The recovery script

Trust isn't built by perfect promises. It's built by how we recover when one slips.

Words we don't say

If you hear any of these in response to a promise request, you don't have a promise. You have a maybe. Push for one of the five honest replies above.

• I'll try
• Should be fine
• We'll see
• Soon
• Hopefully
• ASAP
• Ballpark
• End-of-week-ish
• Let me see what I can do
• If I get to it

Accountability in action

Moments from tonight's session — real conversations, real promises, real practice.

Tom & Felipe opening the session

Building promises in pairs

Whole-room debrief

The full group — accountable together

Live poll: What's your default reply?

What will you change tomorrow?

Owning Team Culture